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Old 04-14-2005, 02:40 AM
boyfunk boyfunk is offline
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Default Random essay on masturbation...

This is a kick!

The following essay on masturbation was completely computer generated by a grammar and syntax engine. You can instantly write a paper on any topic of your choice by entering the topic at

Have fun, kids!

An essay on Masturbation

The subject of Masturbation has been covered intensively by the world press over the past decade. I really, really like Masturbation. Remarkably Masturbation is heralded by shopkeepers and investment bankers alike, leading many to state that it is important to remember that ‘what goes up must come down.’ It is an unfortunate consequence of our civilizations history that Masturbation is rarely given rational consideration by those politicaly minded individuals living in the past, who just don't like that sort of thing. In the light of this I will break down the issues in order to give each of them the thought that they fully deserve

Social Factors

While some scholars have claimed that there is no such thing as society, this is rubbish. When J H Darcy said 'fevour will spread' [1] she failed to understand that if one seriously intends to 'not judge a book by its cover', then one must read a lot of books. While the western world use a knife and fork, the Chinese use chopsticks. Of course Masturbation cleary plays a significant role amongst the developing middle classes.

Our post-literate society, more than ever before, relies upon Masturbation. It breaks the mould, shattering man's misunderstanding of man.

Economic Factors

Economics has been defined as 'I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.' To my learned ear that sounds like two people with itchy backs. Of course, Masturbation fits perfectly into the Fish-Out-Of-Water model, a lovely model.


How do we explain these clear trends? In spite of the best efforts of The World Bank the market value of gold will eventually break free from the powerful influence of Masturbation, but not before we see a standardised commercial policy for all. The financial press seems unable to make up its mind on these issues which unsettles investors.

Political Factors

Much of the writings of historians display the conquests of the most powerful nations over less powerful ones. Looking at the spectrum represented by a single political party can be reminiscent of comparing Masturbationilisation, as it's become known, and one's own sense of morality.

One quote comes instantly to mind when examining this topic. I mean of course the words of the star of stage and screen Augstin B. Adger 'People in glass houses shouldn't throw parties.' [2] Amazingly, he knew nothing of Masturbation until he was well into his thirties. It would be wise to approach the subject with the thought that 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'. However this can lead to missing out important facts. While Masturbation may be a giant amongst men, is it a dwarf amongst policy? I hope not.


In conclusion, Masturbation has, and will continue to be a major building block for the world in which we live. It fills a hole, brings glamour to an unglamorous time and it brings the best out in people.

I shall give the final word to star Ozzy Malkovitch: 'You win some, you loose some, but Masturbation wins most often.' [3]

[1] J H Darcy - The Spaniard - 1988 - PPT

[2] Adger - Politics Per Day - 2000 Jinder Publishing

[3] Everything you always wanted to know about Masturbation, but were afraid to ask. - Issue 287 - QKS Publishing
Old 04-14-2005, 03:15 AM
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BDBionic BDBionic is offline
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I wish we had the internet when I was in high school. I coulda used a site like that hehe
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Old 04-14-2005, 04:22 PM
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Socket2Jake Socket2Jake is offline
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Originally Posted by BDBionic
I wish we had the internet when I was in high school. I coulda used a site like that hehe
Please...did they even have COMPUTERS when you were in high school? LOL
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